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Birds Aren't Real
Hello dear readers. Look, I know how this is going to sound, but I met a homeless man on the streets who claims to have been the Secretary of National Defense in the FBI. He informed me of a great danger to the United States, NAY the world...
Scientists have Discovered more Science
The world science organization has just announced it's newest discovery: more science! This has caused ripples through the science community as many science students are fed up with how much science they have to learn. "Enough is enough!" s...
Lose Weight in Just 100 Easy Steps
My friend John Spitz recently lost 5 pounds, and it only took him 13 years! According to John, anyone can lose 5lbs in just 13 years through his 100 step program. Step 1 is to go to church and pray for God's help. Divine intervention is req...
Is Albert Einstein Still Alive?
Historians say no, but our lead author had a dream where he says he spoke to Dr. Einstein himself, and he revealed that he is residing with Elvis Presley in a flat located in Area 51. He also said their third room mate is an Alien from plan...
Blood Wine - Blood, or Wine?
Our resident Viking philosopher Gudrun explores the fascinating world of blood wine. For thousands of years people have been arguing about whether it is more blood than wine. We invited wine expert Jesus Christ to chime in with his opinion...
13 - the Number that Doesn't Exist
Have you ever wondered why your apartment building doesn't have a 13th floor? This is not a mistake. Big Math, a multi-billion dollar lobby, has only invented the number 13 in 1990 to boost their math textbook sales. Before this, the number...
What Kind of Tree is Poetry?
Our brilliant writers have been pondering this question for eons. We invited the top Arborist in the country, but due to his denial of this fact he has been kicked out of the studio. We also invited famous greek poet Homer, author...
Can Alphabet Soup Really Make You Smarter?
The answer is yes. Our authors all subsist on a steady stream of alphabet soup from Latin America, the inventors of the Latin alphabet. Thanks to this special diet, they have learned every letter of the alphabet. Coincidence? I t...
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Hello, we are the ultra-science news site that brings you the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth. Believe you me, everyone else is lying, unless they say they're liars, then they are telling the truth. Wait a minute...
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